DAY 18 Cheeseburgers And Bald Heads (Friday 2nd of July)

I can’t believe that its already July.  Time flies… I woke up with a spring in my step this morning and hopped around, getting dressed, making my bed, reading I was half done my to do list by 7:30am. While taking my old pillowcases off I noticed I was shedding like a dog in summer. I checked the sheets and there were traces of my mane there as well.  I looked in the mirror and everything appeared as normal, for now. But I could easily pull chunks of hair out with no pain.

The rest of that the day went as usual with nurses in and out, various medicines and measurements given and taken, and naps being taken in anticipation May-Helen’s arrival that evening. 

May brought cheeseburgers and ice cream and we had a nice little date. After we ate, we went outside and sat in the fresh air.  I can’t go into direct sunlight or I will burst into flames but as long as I stay in the shadows, I’m fine.  Afterward we went back to my room and called the kids to have a head shaving party.  All the kids were on the video chat and watched and laughed and commented while May shaved my head.  It was as close to a family outing as we could get under the circumstances.

It’s weird being bald. At least it is for a guy who has never been bald before. My head is cold, it feels like Velcro, it collects lint and since my hair was so thick that my scalp never saw the light of day, it’s special kind neon white.  I feel a little like when Darth Vader took his helmet off in Return of the Jedi. 

On the bright side

Apparently, I look OK bald.  I have only gotten positive messages back from the people who have seen pictures.  More Bruce Willis than Uncle Fester.

Half the guys my age are bald anyway so it’s not that big a deal.  And I know that when this is over, my hair should grow back again.

Day 17 My Little Healing (Thursday 1st of July)

As you can imagine I’ve had a lot of down time around here. Plenty of time to observe and think.  I discovered that the noise coming from the ventilation was pressure related because it stopped as soon as the outer isolation door would open (but not the inner door). 

Another thing I found out is that God does things in His own time.  But He does do things. (I knew this from before but “knowing” it and experiencing it are different) I’d been struggling with a mysterious little nosebleed for two days. Not huge and certainly not anything I wasn’t used to. I’ve been the king of nosebleeds since about the second grade. They have always just sort of started whenever they wanted. I now how to hold head so it looks like nothing is going on and how to hold it so it looks like I got punched and needed to get out of class. I’ve grown up with bloody noses, but this one wouldn’t end. 

The doctors were starting to get worried and wanted to send me to another unit to see an ear, nose and throat specialist.  No thanks, I’ve seen enough of them other the years to know I never want to see another one.  So, I prayed. I prayed for a healing over my nose. I claimed a healing over my nose. And I kept praying and I felt like God said, “here you go”.

But everything was still the same.  The huge blood clot was still in the sinus, every once in a while the run off would get coughed up (I never mentioned the coughing up of blood to doctors because few things send the world spinning like coughing up blood, but I knew what it was from years of experience)  and it still slowly leaked what I thought was blood through my nose every few minutes.  I wasn’t sure where my healing was, but I held on to it anyway. 

As the day went along, I started noticing things like, it wasn’t really blood coming out of my nose anymore but a watery form of something, and I stopped coughing up blood. (it was less coughing it up as clearing my throat with a good cough)  At some point (I will spare you the details blessed reader) I got rid of the mess in my sinus and after that nothing came out of my nose again.  About eight hours later and God’s healing was on full display. 

It came according to His design, not the way I expected when I asked for it. And so much of this journey had been like that. Trusting God.  I know he has me in His hand, I know He loves me. I know He only has good things for me. Yet it’s hard not to try and dictate things to Him through prayers and expectations.  I know that my way will never be as good as God’s way, yet I still try and maintain that control.  But I am learning to let go and let God do His awesome thing.  I should have plenty of opportunity to practice in the next few months.

On the bright side

As if that weren’t encouraging enough.  I had some sort of flat peaches today.  They were good and juicy, I love peaches. 

Day 16 Fevers, Monkeys and Cookies (Wednesday 30th of June)

My fever induced morning started out like any other, I was leading my crew of spider-riding cowboy monkeys across a backdrop of 80s space videos games. We shot our lasers at everything and avoided getting eaten by monsters, crushed by asteroids and shot by spaceships. We rushed and raced but never seemed to get anywhere.  When I woke up, I had fever of 104 which explains my poor leadership (but I’m pretty sure cowboy monkeys and spiders are the easiest co-workers)

From there the day got worse until it finally got better. The doctors tried a new type of antibiotic and since they already knew I had a fever, they mixed in some paracetamol (Tylenol) and that’s when things got good.  The fever broke in a good a sweat and I suddenly had enough energy to sit up straight and interact.  The only crap thing was that May didn’t get to come yesterday, mostly be of an issue going on in Moss but also because of what was going on here at fever central. 

So, this day started that so dramatically (the 104 fever not the space monkeys) ended quite nicely.  I got had a restful afternoon.  Another interesting thing that seems to be happening is that my tastebuds are all screwed up.  My daughter made me chocolate chip cookies the other day and I finally got the chance to eat on the other day and it tasted bitter and burnt.  I check some other sources who confirmed that the cookies were indeed good.  So I tried some BBQ western style crunchy nuts and again they tased burnt.  I think anything sweet tastes burned right now. 

On the bright side

If this this my new future I may never struggle with dieting again as everything that has given me trouble is now off the table. I’m not really sure which way I want this to play out.