As you can imagine I’ve had a lot of down time around here. Plenty of time to observe and think. I discovered that the noise coming from the ventilation was pressure related because it stopped as soon as the outer isolation door would open (but not the inner door).
Another thing I found out is that God does things in His own time. But He does do things. (I knew this from before but “knowing” it and experiencing it are different) I’d been struggling with a mysterious little nosebleed for two days. Not huge and certainly not anything I wasn’t used to. I’ve been the king of nosebleeds since about the second grade. They have always just sort of started whenever they wanted. I now how to hold head so it looks like nothing is going on and how to hold it so it looks like I got punched and needed to get out of class. I’ve grown up with bloody noses, but this one wouldn’t end.
The doctors were starting to get worried and wanted to send me to another unit to see an ear, nose and throat specialist. No thanks, I’ve seen enough of them other the years to know I never want to see another one. So, I prayed. I prayed for a healing over my nose. I claimed a healing over my nose. And I kept praying and I felt like God said, “here you go”.
But everything was still the same. The huge blood clot was still in the sinus, every once in a while the run off would get coughed up (I never mentioned the coughing up of blood to doctors because few things send the world spinning like coughing up blood, but I knew what it was from years of experience) and it still slowly leaked what I thought was blood through my nose every few minutes. I wasn’t sure where my healing was, but I held on to it anyway.
As the day went along, I started noticing things like, it wasn’t really blood coming out of my nose anymore but a watery form of something, and I stopped coughing up blood. (it was less coughing it up as clearing my throat with a good cough) At some point (I will spare you the details blessed reader) I got rid of the mess in my sinus and after that nothing came out of my nose again. About eight hours later and God’s healing was on full display.
It came according to His design, not the way I expected when I asked for it. And so much of this journey had been like that. Trusting God. I know he has me in His hand, I know He loves me. I know He only has good things for me. Yet it’s hard not to try and dictate things to Him through prayers and expectations. I know that my way will never be as good as God’s way, yet I still try and maintain that control. But I am learning to let go and let God do His awesome thing. I should have plenty of opportunity to practice in the next few months.
On the bright side
As if that weren’t encouraging enough. I had some sort of flat peaches today. They were good and juicy, I love peaches.
