I got the news today. Or as the doctor said: The Bomb. Acute Leukemia, cancer of the blood.
I suppose I should say that we got the news today. My wife was sitting right there with me, holding my hand and taking the same blow to the gut as I was.
We knew it was a real possibility but had held on to the hope that it might be something else. Anything else. Until the doctor made it official, I had Schrodinger’s Cancer. Then suddenly I had cancer. The big nasty thing we try not to talk about. (I understand that I had it the whole time, I had hope that I didn’t until I found out I did)
Interestingly we have a peace about us. It can only be God’s peace. The kind you read about – the peace that surpasses all understanding. Because left to our own devices we would have worried fretted ourselves to death already. Beautifully this peace makes it possible to maintain a positive attitude and stay lighthearted about it.
I am so grateful we have God to lean on through this process. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for people who don’t have Him to cling to and cry out to during their difficult battles.
So the doctor told us the news and then sent directly to the University hospital in Oslo that specializes in cancer and cancer treatments. There we spoke to some very sympathetic caregivers and took more tests and more bone marrow samples. They told us about the amazing advances in cancer treatments that have been made in recent year. Getting cancer today is completely different than it would have been getting cancer five years ago. I’m certainly not glad I got this, but I am glad I got it now and not five or ten years ago – for so many reasons.
Then it was back in the taxi to the other hospital for a quick check before heading home for the evening.
My wife and I cried together, prayed together, supported each other, laughed together, made plans and mostly acted like teenage girls on an emotional roller coaster.
We straightened up when we got home and told the kids, reassuring that I was going this thing’s @$$ and make a full recovery. There were some tears and hugs and questions then they went off to process.
I’m pretty sure a lot more happened but my head is spinning a million miles an hour inside of a bowl or pea soup – still in shock…
I got to sleep in my own bed and actually slept well. A combination of God’s peace and emotional exhaustion.
On the Brightside–
As I mentioned the treatment for this is designed to beat it. Not just send it into remission. I am healthy, youngish, positive and it seems like we caught it early so there is every reason to believe that I will beat this. I’m going all in for that. I know that it will be a long hard road that it will suck along the way but with God on my side, My wife at my side and the incredible network of friends and family that has surrounded us I am sure I’ll make it. And I kind of excited to see how God will use it.
God Wink
As we were driving in the taxi to the University hospital in Oslo, The Cure came on the radio- my all time favorite band – I haven’t heard the Cure come on the radio in Norway in like 15 years – May (my beautiful wife) squeezed my hand and said exactly what i was thinking- “God is just giving you a little smile, letting you know He has your back”) The Cure on the way to hear about the cure.