And when it is me writing, it is usually because Brian is having a hard time. I know the doctors tried to prepare us for this was going to be a very tough treatment but it is harder than we could imagine. His whole body is struggling to handle the chemo. He is fighting so hard, his face and expressions look different. He is shaking and have cramps all over, even when he sleeps. I hope at least the sleeps give him some comfort and short breaks. It is not about “handling this one day at a time”, this is more “handling it minutes at a time”.
We love him so much. I thank him every day for not giving up and going through with this so he can come home to us again. There is no doubt in my mind that he will beat this.
As the titles says; not much is going on these days. Brian has fever and nausea so his appetite is low. He has low energy and wants to take naps. I visit 1 hour every other day and miss him greatly in my every day life.
He just wants us to pray for him and make sure you know he is praying for you who read this as well.
Nothing superbad is going on. The fever, nausea and lack of energy is expected with this amount of poison running through his veins (yes, I was thinking of that song when I wrote this 😉 ). The nurses and doctors take very good care of him.
Last night while I was not sleeping, Baltimore Oriole Trey Mancini came in second place in the annual Home Run Derby. Last year Trey was diagnosed with colon cancer and beat it.
When the long night was over, we crawled out of bed, ate breakfast, and drove back to the hospital in Oslo. I knew it was going to be a big day of tests ending in start of my second round of chemo. We sent May home, so she didn’t have to suffer through the battery of tests and waiting.
I took my tests, including a covid test which kept me locked in my room for most of the day. After waiting for several hours, the doctor came in and told me that the first round had gone exceptionally well. We knew that from before, but a week on when they checked the results things are even better. The cancer cells in my marrow are down to 1.5%, the doctors were hoping for below 5%. The other things they check were almost back to normal levels after a week of being home and marathon eating (still didn’t gain any weight) Those normal levels will soon be wiped out by round two, but its good to know that my body is responding well to both the treatment and the recovery.
In the afternoon a dermatologist came by to look at my moles (this is part of a larger project before I even got cancer) He went over me with his loupe and couldn’t find anything suspicious. I am sure that this news delighted May as my mole have been a major area of worry for her over the years.
I found out about seven-thirty that I did not have covid and was then free to wander the halls. The only other news is that with this new treatment I need to start taking eye drops four times a day. Its not that easy but luckily the nurses are willing to set them in for me.
On the bright side
I’m so glad I have so many people on my side praying for me or cheering me on. It sure makes this journey less lonely.
Last day home today. I took care of a few practical things, but mostly relaxed. We had a nice family dinner where we were all together. Our last one for a while.
Today is my father’s birthday. He turned seventy but the birthday means more than celebration of a round number. He is the first in his family to make it past that mark, and he is in good health. Thank God.
That got me thinking (again) about how grateful I am to have the father I have, and the mother, and the wife and the kids and the life. I see again how God has been working long before this started to put all the bricks in place for me to be right here, right now. I am sure that right here, right now is not God’s final plan for me but it is the plan for right now.
I see that so many details have come together to make this an easier ride for me than it could have been otherwise. My patient, compassionate, wonderful wife has stood by me and encouraged me every step of the way. The fact that I ended up in Norway and not somewhere else is a biggie. I’m getting the absolute best care I could get at the speed of light over here.
And the friends and family that have taken such good care of us. They have risen into an army of food bringers, helpers, prayer warriors, encouragers, and just general blessings to us in so many ways.
On the bright side
God’s put all that in place in addition to being along side me every day and being with me through the thick and the thin. Holding me when I need holding and giving me strength when I need strength and so much more. I’m thankful that if I have to go through this I have this incredible support system wrapped around me. God is good.
An overcast rainy day. A nice day to stay inside. We didn’t do much today.
The day was highlighted by a thirty-minute slow walk to the store during a little a break in the rain. I needed a two-hour nap to recover from my thirty-minute walk. My condition has gone considerably downhill since all this began.
Spending the day inside gave me several occasions to look in the mirror. And that got me thinking about my hair or lack of hair. I never appreciated how important my hair was in defining what I “looked like”. When I look in the mirror now, I see a featureless bald guy. I could be anyone – the guy who robbed you, the guy who sold you the newspaper or the guy helped you do your taxes. I’m still me though, until I look in the mirror.
I’m not too worried about that though, because I have no one to impress and when I’m in the hospital I have an armband they can identify me with. My wife and kids love me no matter what I look like and God doesn’t care if I have hair or not.
I think my worst fear (when it concerns how I look) is that I go into this looking like a healthy forty-seven-year-old but come out looking like a seventy-eight year old man who has been through the wringer.
On the bright side
I guess it doesn’t really matter what I look like as long as I’m healthy. I have a daughter who can draw eye brows and I see I can order a wig from the party supply store for $5.99. I’ll get by.
Today we had to go into Oslo for some blood tests. It’s part of my parole arrangement. Anyway, I aced them. I don’t want to brag but my Potassium levels were high enough that they moved me from 6 pills a day to 4. And apparently my other blood levels were looking pretty good as well.
I had a coffee date with May in Oslo (she had coffee I had some sort of frozen hibiscus/ grapefruit/ lemonade drink). When we got home, I laid myself out on the new sofa and prepared myself for what sounded like the makings of a nice summer thunderstorm. However, nothing ever became of it. A few rumbles and some soft rain and it was over. How disappointing. There was however also waffle batter waiting for us when we got home. A delicious and successful effort from one of the neighbors to fatten me up.
After waffles we took a nice longish walk and then settled in for the evening catching up on The Chosen season two and Magnum PI. I didn’t last long last night and ended up in bed by eleven. Another wonderfully normal day.
On the bright side
Despite the lack of thunder the rain was soft and welcome. Our flowers and garden appreciated it and it was very relaxing to listen too. It only lasted about an hour before the sun came back out.
I woke up in my own bed and had something close to a normal day.
May made a nice breakfast which we eat while we chatted across the table. After breakfast we lounged around until a friend came over, bearing pizza for lunch. We sat in the shade and talked about everything and nothing at all. It was a nice change from the long lonely mornings at the hospital. It was nice to spend time with my friend.
In the afternoon some other friends came over to help move my oldest daughter into her new apartment in Oslo. They were taking the larger items today, a sofa, a refrigerator, a washing machine and a bed. What a blessing that they stepped up and took care of this project while I am incapacitated. Both Hannah and Jakob were along moving.
While they were moving the rest of us ate leftovers for dinner. Today could have been any summer day. A day I normally would have taken for granted. But this week I appreciate waking up in my own bed, next to my beautiful wife. I appreciate my friends and the things they do for us. Having leftovers is a sign of abundance and all these things are evidence of a blessed life.
On the bright side
The weather has been beautiful lately. A nice summer is a rare thing in Norway. It’s not uncommon to have rainy or chilled days. And sometimes it gets super hot and dry. But so far this year everything has been just the way Norwegians like it high 70s and sunny.
If I could get that title to light up and shoot fireworks I would!
Remember we were waiting for some test results that they had to take twice because they couldn’t be sure what they were looking at the first time. Well they were not completely sure the next day as well. They see a lot of cells but are not sure if they are looking at a marrow sample full of cancer rather than healthy cells. They weren’t certain why the cell count was so high, maybe it was this or maybe it was that or it could have been this other thing. But I know what it was; IT WAS AN ANSWER TO PRAYER. This is exactly what I, my wife, my friends and family and my friend’s family and friends have been praying for.
I’m not cured of cancer, but my body responded better than expected to the first round of chemo. Besides whichever cells they were looking at in my marrow, my other blood levels were higher than anticipated at this point as well. Things are in fact so good that they sent me home today – no extra observation or tests – they just wrote me out a prescription for Potassium and told me when to come back.
I spent my first night home in a long time. I got to see all my kids, busy as they are. Mostly I just sat on the sofa and chatted or watched TV (caught up on Loki). I think I even dozed off for a little while. It was a wonderful evening and I am looking forward to being here for the next week (until Tuesday morning).
On the bright side
It seems almost wrong not to consider the entirety of yesterday as the brightest of bright sides. But I guess there is always room to squeeze in a little more good news. Last night our friends brought over a wonderful fiskegrateng (not sure how to describe that in English but it’s a tasty baked creamy fish dish covered with cheese) I have been eating and snacking from the cornucopia of snacks and meals that people have been blessing my family with since I got sick. God is good!
Day 17 turned out to be a bit of a letdown. They took the bone marrow tests, but there were so many cells in the marrow that they couldn’t tell if they were good or bad. (I am believing that they are good and that this is a wonderful example of answered prayer) But they couldn’t tell, so this morning they took another bone marrow sample, this they will send the samples to a lab that can read them better. So, the waiting continues.
But the doctor did say that my other blood levels were looking good and headed in the right direction.
The day was spent twiddling my thumbs until May came in the evening. She had made the most amazing Salmon, hummus, noodle, bean salad. I could not have ordered a better salad in a restaurant. After dinner we took a nice walk and practiced steps, which one can come surprisingly unaccustomed to if you don’t keep up and practice.
Thanks to May today wasn’t a complete bust. But the long monotonous days are starting to wear on me and I’d like a change of scenery, especially if things are looking good health and blood-wise.
On the bright side
May also brought me some sudoku books and deductive puzzles to help me pass the time. Because like my legs and the steps, I suspect that I need to keep my brain chugging along as well.
