Not doing much of anything today. Just lazing about the house, thinking about how to beat this.
My wife bought me three Hawaiian shirts so that, ONE- I won’t have to pull T-shirts over my tubes and wires all the time and TWO- so that I won’t have to be the guy wandering around the hospital in the middle of the day wearing the hospital gown. Instead I’ll be guy wandering around in the Hawaiian shirts and sweat pants.
I am finding so much inspiration and hope in my battle, but there are three cancer patients in my life that I am drawing inspiration from when it comes to my own motivation and hope.
Example 1 Marianne was my nurse when I was in the burn unit as a kid. I spent about a month there with third degree burns on parts of my face. A less willing patient would be hard to find. I screamed and cried every time the nurses had to do their job. I certainly didn’t make life easy for anyone. But Marianne loved me anyway and we had a special bond. We stayed in contact after I was released. We exchanged letters and I think I visited her once at the burn unit once during a checkup at the hospital. I would send her a Christmas card every year and she would send one back, usually with a cross stitched Christmas ornament (one of which still hangs on our tree every year.)
One year instead of a Christmas card I got a note from her parents saying that she had died early that year of Leukemia, the same disease I am fighting now. Marianne was always positive and strong, she never had anything except a smile and kind words for me or anyone else. Marianne died nearly forty years ago, and so much has changed in the world of cancer treatment since then. I have opportunities she never had and I am not going to let them go to waste.
So I am going to try to be like Marianne and stay positive and kind throughout my journey, hopefully inspiring people along the way. My victory will be in part thanks to Marianne.
Example 2 Growing up in rural Maryland we lived next door to a very nice older couple. The Smiths. The type of people who would invite the neighborhood kids in for cookies and milk and buy whatever raffle tickets or chocolate bars you might be selling for your fundraiser.
We would wave and smile through the window each morning one the way to the school bus or whenever we were out playing.
One day the Smith’s weren’t in the window even though their car was in the driveway. Same thing the next day and the day after that. Finally, we saw a very distraught Mr. Smith standing in his driveway looking into his open garage. We asked if everything was OK and he looked at us, completely shattered and revealed that Mrs. Smith had been diagnosed with cancer earlier in the week and had died the previous day. He explained that she had just given up and died, even though the doctor’s believed they could help.
Mrs. Smith’s refusal to fight and the effects of that decision showed me just how important faith and a positive attitude are, I can remember someone explaining it to me at the time. All these years later, this episode and its lesson sit deep inside of me. This example is a lesson and inspiration to stay positive, to keep my faith and to maintain a good attitude. The alternative is not an option for me. I have too much to lose and I know God still has plans for my life.
Example 3 My last inspiration is my favorite. A neighbor and good friend of mine her in Norway was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, in the form of a slowing tumor several years ago. Her prognosis for living a normal life after removal wasn’t good, as the tumor was growing along her spinal cord close to many nerves and arteries.
Her attitude was as long as there is a chance, be it 1% or 100% there is reason to fight. No reason why she shouldn’t be that 1 in 100. She decided that she was going to survive and focused all her energy on that goal, staying as positive as ever and working hard to staying focused and healthy and follow the doctor’s orders.
Guess what, it worked. Over ten years later she is still here, and not only still here but has since won Norwegian, European and world championship medals in bench press and even set a world record for her weight class in 2018. I wish I could tell you the whole story because it is so much more inspirational than this snippet, but it’s not my story to tell.
But be assured I am leaning hard on her example of positivity and hard work. I know that it can be done and there is absolutely no reason why I can’t do it. I will beat this.
On the bright side
Every hour, every day I am receiving affirmation and confirmation that there is a greater purpose to this battle than just getting me healthy again. Sometimes it’s a prayer or a word of encouragement, Sometimes it’s a verse. Some of these words I will keep in heart and ponder, others I’ll share here. One that came in today from a surprising source was a verse from Mark 11 – Jesus told the disciples to go into town and find a donkey He told them that if anyone asked what they were doing they were to say “The Lord needs it and will send it back shortly” He needed an ass back then and I guess he needs one now. He’ll use me for His purposes and send me back shortly. What that purpose is, I have no idea but as I’ve mentioned before, I’m excited to find out.
